singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
