she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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