so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
