I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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