Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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