her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
