'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
