Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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