His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
