My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
