I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
