I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just gift wrapped bread.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
