Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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