I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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