I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
