The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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