oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
