Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
