Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
