Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
