fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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