We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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