Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
