***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
