On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
