really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
