Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize