her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
