she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
