home. puking in laundry basket.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
