I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
