My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
