she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
