Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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