at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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