Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i wish my penis had a tongue
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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