doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
