so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
