Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize