My balls are so social today.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
