then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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