I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
