Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
