so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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