I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
