Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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