dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
