I cannot find my penis.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
