Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
