is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
