isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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