That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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