Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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