I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
