she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
