I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
