Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
