Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
