Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The power of my boobs compel you
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
