Can i not drive my cunt home
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
