Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
there is glitter all over my balls
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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