He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
