Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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