Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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