Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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