Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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