Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
