Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
