I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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