My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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