My hand turned me down
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
