I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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