Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
