Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
