I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize