were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
