not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
worst night to have a conscience
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
This toilet bowl is my home.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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