Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
