i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
