i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
