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My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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