im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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