Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
