taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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