Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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