It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
