She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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