is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The uberlube is also flammable
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I think people are normalizing furries
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
