its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize